Baby Resources Articles

Potty Training Home | Free Potty Training Mini Course | Link to Us | Order Now

How To Handle Potty Training A Problem Child

The potty training techniques that work with regular children are the same techniques that work with problem children. By problem children, I mean a child that is kicking and screaming all the way to the bathroom every single time you mention the word potty train or the word potty. Just the thought of going to the potty makes the child kick and scream like no tomorrow.

Chances are, a problem child in potty training is usually an older child. In other words, this is a child that is starting the potty training process sometime around the age of 3 to 3 ½.

Most of the medical community will tell you the best thing to do is wait until the child is ready. Most parents do follow that advice, and they do try and wait for the child to be ready or for the child to start showing them signs that they are ready to be potty trained.

The problem that occurs is by the time the child reaches around 3 to 3 ½ years old, the parent becomes physically and emotionally exhausted from cleaning diapers and dirty pooped soiled clothes. The parent finally decides they cannot wait any longer. It is time to start potty training.

Now the parent is more reactive than proactive. So now you are reacting to potty training versus being proactive to potty training and taking the advance steps.

Inevitably, by this age you are not only dealing with potty training as an issue, but you are also dealing with the strong will of that child. At this stage of the game, the child has learned very well to use the word no.

Your child is in its own world right now. They are exploring and learning and playing. When you mention potty training to your child, and they are in the middle of a game or television or just in the middle of doing their own thing. Going to the potty is the last thing they want to do.

The frustrated parent then says it is time to go potty. I do not care what you say. Thus, there is that friction between the parent and the child where the child is saying no and the parent is saying yes. So then you have a very strong-willed child.

Now it is not that it is impossible to potty train a child that is at the ages of 3 ½ or even 3, but you have to keep in mind that it takes a whole lot more patience from you, the parent, than it does to potty train a child that is 2 years old and more compliant.

The techniques that you would use on a 2 year old are the identical techniques that you would use on the 3 ½ year old. What you have to keep in mind is again, it will take a little bit longer, it will take more patience, and it will take more repetition.

You see, at two years old, you only have to wipe away two years worth of habit. That habit is going to do poop in the diapers. At 3 or 3 ½ years old, you have to wipe out up to 3 ½ years of habit. That is a whole year, year-and-a-half more worth of habit. So that is even harder to do, not to mention in between the ages of two and three, the child has gained more mental ability and more thinking process, and thus you are also wiping away years of habit plus the conscious decision of what that child has decided to do.

So as you can see, at 3 ½ years old, potty training is not only the techniques, but it is also understanding that you are wiping away habit that the child has been told is okay to do for the last 3 years. Now, all of a sudden, you are telling them it is not okay. So this is not an overnight process.

Thinking that potty training at 3 ½ years old is an overnight process is probably the biggest mistake parents make.

So, the way you handle a problem child is through tough love, strong directions and being extremely consistent. You cannot vary or sway in any way your consistency when it comes to a problem child.

You want to let your child know what you expect them to do. Be frank and let them know what are the expectations, and this is how the expectations are supposed to be met. Let that child know exactly what needs to be done so that you, the parent, are in charge, and they know what to do.

If you find your child is not listening to you, this is not a potty training issue but more of a parental control issue, and I would also venture to say that you are having other issues in parental challenges with your child as well, not just in potty training. But again, if you follow the system and be consistent with the book, you should be able to get some good results.

Johanne Cesar
mailto:supportstaff@thepottytrainer.com
203-404-7178